Throughout the twentieth century, comparative education authors in the English-speaking world expressed a range of fears and desires about their field. Many of these authors were or are North American, or spent substantial parts of their careers on that continent. The research reported here systematically maps the discourses of fear and desire in a large body of comparative education literature. Explicitly unpacking and naming these discourses is important for recognising the ways these discourses potentially limit or liberate the scope of the field, and write certain ideas, scholars and methods into or out of the field. The author was motivated by a desire for some of the more neurotic living scholars in the field to lighten up and enjoy life and scholarship more.