In this article, the author describes his and a colleague's experience of selecting and interviewing candidates for a tenure-track faculty position. He relates how they thought that they had selected 18 excellent candidates until they met them for interview. The author found that the majority of those they interviewed knew nothing about the department, the faculty, or the curriculum (information that was all readily available online). When the candidates were asked to talk about the intellectual stakes involved in their dissertations, only a third of them could handle the question. Finally in their on-campus interviews, the four final candidates were asked to demonstrate their teaching ability by leading a class discussion. Unaccountably, two of the four candidates flatly ignored their explicit instructions and, instead, delivered a written-out lecture. Because of these disappointing realities among candidates, the author provides advice to advisers and candidates on how they can successfully navigate the selection process of institutions.