The author, formerly a co-leader of Nexus, a program that focused on the interconnectedness of different types of oppression, relates her personal experience on forming "first impressions." Participation in this program was open to students interested in the issues of diversity and was strictly voluntary and cocurricular. The program was bringing undergraduates together in a structured setting, providing opportunities for informal interaction and diversity education with the goal of breaking down stereotypes and building allies by building friendships. Joe, a student in the program, is a handsome, intelligent, confident African American man, extremely well mannered and well read but cautious, with a chip on his shoulder. The problem with Joe, assumed the author, was that he was stuck in his own issue--racism. That was understandable, given that he was a black man, but the author wanted him to be open to learning about the other oppressions. In this article, the author shares the story of Joe and how his revelation to her that he was gay made her realize that she was the one stuck in her own issue, unwilling to look beyond color to consider that they shared an oppression and a community. (Contains 2 notes.)