Some readers will recall Newhart, Bob Newhart's television series from 1982 to 1990. In it, he played Dick Ludon, a New Yorker who moved to Vermont with his wife to run an inn. Stephanie Vanderkellen, a snotty, rich, young woman, worked there as a maid to appease her parents. Her boyfriend, Michael, was not rich but was as snobbish as she was. Stephanie and Michael sometimes amused themselves playing "fashion police": They went to public places and looked for people who, in their view, were not dressed stylishly enough. When they found a sartorial culprit, they issued a citation. In this article, the author talks about fashion cops of a more insidious stripe--those who work for the schools. He presents some situations where students were taken off the football team or asked to leave school because they run afoul of the fashion police in their school.