Research on writing pedagogy highlights effective feedback as dialogic and student-centered. However, few studies have examined how preservice English teachers (PSETs) craft their feedback based on how they want their students to read them. Drawing on sociocultural approaches to writing, we examine the co-construction of these "discoursal selves" by studying PSETs' talk and embodied actions during focus-group conversations about their feedback to student writers. Data included videorecorded focus groups, transcripts, and written feedback. By navigating their life histories ("autobiographical selves") and the identities they sought to convey in their feedback ("discoursal selves"), PSETs struggled to contend with their internalized grammarians while projecting a peer identity that was encouraging even when they offered critique. We argue that reflection with PSETs on how they want to be read can empower them to make intentional instructional choices.