This article uses diverse genres in addressing "The Jewish Question(s)," a phrase with multiple meanings ranging from the antisemitic to the deeply philosophical. The focus is on addressing "The Jewish Question" in literacy research and theory. The article is organized in three parts. The first part, Jewish Literacy Practices and Collapsing Time, troubles linear time, conceptualizing the past, present, and future as interpenetrating and interpellated. The second part, titled "Story," is a narrative about the thefts of mezuzot from our home and an exploration of collapsing time such that there is no separation among what happens now, what has happened over the past 5,785 years, and what will happen in the next 5,785 years. The third part is a brief reflection on the implications of troubling the ubiquitousness of narrative linearity in theorizing literacy education.