Using an analytical-interpretative autoethnographic account of my move from a professional staff manager to an academic manager in a university, I highlight how career transitions can result in othering due to the academic' professional divide, the strength of academic identity in disciplines and the continued role of women being in positions of power. This othering may lead to imposter syndrome and antagonistic identity discourses, which may have negative psychological effects on individuals. Second, I argue that this othering impacts on meritocratic leadership appointments, as a whole cohort of highly effective professional 'non-academic' leaders are effectively excluded from the most senior roles in a university; women are also clearly lacking in proportional representation at the highest levels in universities. I also argue that academic leadership development is immature and not currently adequately preparing academic staff for leading large teams, in terms of budget and staff, and highly complex institutions with real-world political and economic pressures. In conclusion, I show how an autoethnographic study has helped my own career identity transition by working out these tensions to develop insights and negotiate in-between identities.