This paper, co-authored between three adults and five children aged 8-11, adopts a 'collaborative writing as inquiry' approach to examine and discuss the authors' experiences of a participatory research project through the lens of critical dialectical pluralism. In the original project, children formed two 'young advisory panels', one online, comprising children from all over England, and one in a primary school in a suburban area in North England, informing and collaborating on the creation of 45 educational activities supporting critical digital literacy. Rather than focusing on the original research itself, the paper focuses on making a methodological contribution, through detailed and collaborative reflections on notions such as agency, power and control. Over a period of four 60 to 90 min-long meetings once the actual research was completed, adult and child authors considered their respective roles in the project, as well as detailing their understanding of the project as a whole. In co-framing our perceptions of participatory research, we problematise adult anxieties and highlight the importance of exploring 'silence as voice', arguing for an extension to participatory research projects, going beyond the research itself and creating a 'third space' which is un/familiar to all participants, openly inviting engagement with discomfort and normalising uncertainty.