This study explores the dynamic journey of women as they become academics in non-elite Chinese public universities. It focuses on their aspirations and the evolving subjectivity that accompanies this process. Ten participants from the Humanities and Social Sciences (HSS) fields, aged 28-57, were interviewed; the transcripts were analysed using reflexive thematic analysis. Adopting a Butlerian perspective, our findings identify two distinct subjectivities that shape Chinese women's decision to become academics: autonomous subjectivity driven by intrinsic desire and strategic subjectivity driven by instrumental desire. We argue that becoming an academic is a complex process influenced by regulatory power, including market forces, institutional and societal constraints, and gender norms, which shape the context in which the desire is pursued. It is essential to view this decision not only from the individual's perspective but also from the larger context within which it is made. This study contributes to the literature on gender equality in academia by interrogating the complexities of the decision-making processes for Chinese women pursuing academic careers in non-elite Chinese universities.