This article weighs in on the developing discourse on AI's role in higher education research through a structured dialogue between two diametrically opposed academics. Utilising a dialectical framework, the discourse transcends surface-level debates to grapple with ethical, methodological, and epistemological questions that are often overlooked, but are paramount to the field's integrity. Russell advocates for AI as an indispensable tool for academic research, while Rachel raises critical questions about AI's potential to undermine the very essence of academic inquiry. Through this disputation, the article reveals the complex tensions between efficiency and ethical concerns, between innovation and integrity. Rather than offer facile solutions, it exposes the intricate challenges and invites the reader to consider the broader implications for academic research practice. The article serves as a catalyst for a more rigorous, nuanced dialogue, aiming to shift the discourse from the technological to the ethical and epistemological. It is an imperative read for anyone committed to understanding the transformational potential and pitfalls of AI in higher education research.