This article draws upon Roland Barthes' theory of "myth" to unpack how "student progress" is conceptualised and measured in the curriculum and assessment of GCSE English in secondary schools in England. Using case studies of three Year 11 students, I critique aspects of the government's Progress 8 accountability measure, their GCSE English curriculum and their high-stakes testing regime. I show how these policies work to reproduce the neoliberal conservative ideology of the political ruling class and present the systematic underachievement of disadvantaged groups of students as a natural process.