Purpose: The purpose of this narrative is to share insights on the little-known two-by-two evangelical sect, specifically its use of English teaching in South Korea and China as a missionary tool of conversion. Design/methodology/approach: This narrative is written in memoir-style, with sections that analyze the author's experiences. The analysis looks at the two-by-two sect through the lens of Gee's Theory of Discourse. Findings: Based on the author's experiences as an insider for 35 years in the two-by-two evangelical sect, four of those in China and S. Korea, she discusses the use of English teaching as a missionary tool of conversion. The paper questions the ethicality of this practice. Practical implications: The author suggests that global English teachers should carefully examine their own religiosity to make sure they are not ethically compromising opportunities for their students in an effort to create converts. Originality/value: This paper sheds light on the global nature of the two-by-two sect, a religion that has very little written about it in the scholarly realm.