This paper reports on the experiences and perspectives of military wives as students and potential students of Access to Higher Education Diplomas, a qualification for widening participation in HE for 'non-traditional' students in the UK -- an under-researched topic. Contributing to both Marxist and feminist theory, we argue that the combined practices of the state apparatuses, the military and education system, constrain these women's access to, and progress in, HE, and that the patriarchal gender regime is reproduced through institutional structures and practices. The study found that military wives' own education plays a secondary role to their serving partners' military careers; that the military promotes their roles as wives and mothers above adult educational opportunities; and that despite the widening participation agenda, an inflexible HE system further blocks educational opportunities for this group.