In a classroom or take-home activity, students are challenged to write their name as a combination of chemical-element symbols and calculate "their" molar mass. Age-appropriate versions ranging from middle school to entry-level college classes are discussed. Acceptable molar-mass suggestions may be used in a competition for the heaviest combination or weighed against a preset value derived from the teacher's name. The activity is suited for exploring information provided with the periodic table at times when atomic and molar masses are first introduced.