Most collegiate departments where one can find Spanish, French, German, and other non-English disciplines are referred to as "language departments," either formally or informally. Such designations are interesting as they suggest to the outsider (i.e., non-language person) that these departments consist of experts in language. In this essay, I will lay out the argument that this is not the case. I will argue that a focus on literature and culture does not make for expertise in language. I will then offer representative demographic research on the percentage of language faculty that can be considered experts in language. As will be seen, the percentage is quite low. Subsequently, I will describe some of the consequences of this low percentage, and I will conclude with an open letter to deans and other administrators regarding the current state of affairs. As will become evident, underlying the issues raised in this essay are the development of language proficiency and the nature of language teaching in university settings. Because language departments are generally charged with language instruction, and because students (and others) often expect some kind of proficiency at the end of an undergraduate career in languages, it is not trivial to ask: who is driving the bus of language development?