Based on interviews with 30 families who adopted children over the age of 2, this book provides prospective and current adoptive parents with insight into the seemingly irrational behavior of the older adopted child, providing coping models and questioning the policies governing the services provided to such children and their families. The first part of the book focuses on the various unresolved feelings older adopted children experience and how parents must manage this challenge without taking the child's behavior "personally." The chapters in this part are: (1) "The Traumatized Child"; (2) "The Grieving Child"; (3) "The Child with More than One Mother"; (4) "The Attachment Disordered Child"; (5) "The Sexually Abused Child"; and (6) "The Child with Provocative Behavior." The second part of the book deals with how adoption, particularly of older children, takes the definition of nuclear and extended family far beyond blood or resemblance, stretches the capacity of a community to provide services, and requires a commitment that transcends feeling and expectation. Chapters in this section are: (7) "A Family that is Different"; (8) "A Family that Needs Services"; and (9) "A Family that Transcends Expectations." The book concludes with a glossary and a brief listing of national resources for adoption. (Contains 31 references.) (HTH)