These true tales of educational trauma and transformation pay homage to Pelias, R. J. (2000. The critical life. "Communication Education," 49[3], 220-228), in order to share vulnerable, personal stories of surviving standardized testing, the short bus, and the tenure track. I offer vivid, thickly described accounts of personal failures and failures of the educational system (as well as hard-earned successes), beginning in grade school and ending in higher education. My story is a warning to other academics about the transformative promise and potential of education and recovery. It aims to open up deeper conversations about literacy, mental health and wellness, and scholars with diverse abilities. It is a special article meant for this special issue.