This book presents a lighthearted examination of the trials and tribulations of university research development and grant acquisition. Fun is poked at the grant acquisition process through a series of characters and their advice: Ann Granters (advice column format) gives directions on how to "wire" a proposal; Bogie tells how to squeeze the most bucks from a sponsor; Big Ad explains the benefits of his creation, the Proposal-of-the-Month Club; and the author, through an imaginary telephone call-in segment explains to callers how to avoid conflict of interest on government grants. In addition, the book gives advice to the grants-lorn in a personals column, offers a questionnaire for screening candidates for research administration, examines how to make indirect costs fit the crime, and exposes a series of strange research projects that escaped the scrutiny of Senator William Proxmire (Golden Fleece Award creator). While the satires and parodies poke fun at the usually serious business of running a grants office, they reveal the lengths to which some research administrators may go as they are charged with winning more (and bigger) grants, complying with federal regulations, and recovering indirect costs. (GLR)