Within the specific cultural and historical context of Swedish adult education, this article employs autoethnography to explore teachers' complex experiences during the era of neoliberalism. Its aim is to illuminate teachers' multifaceted realities within this dynamic and shed light on the diverse challenges and struggles they encounter. Drawing on personal experiences and Stephen Ball's conceptual framework, the article asserts that neoliberal ideologies prompt significant shifts in education, emphasizing market-oriented practices, individualization, and flexibility. Consequently, these influences have a profound impact on teachers' work, belief systems, values, behaviors, and pedagogical approaches. The narrative offers insights into the emotional, professional, and ethical challenges prompted by these reforms. It captures the interplay between policy changes, teachers' responses, and broader implications for education quality and teachers' wellbeing. This process becomes interwoven with teachers' negotiations amid tensions between neoliberal policies and their professional ideals, evoking a range of emotions--from subjective alienation to ontological uncertainty.