Teachers are assigned a multitude of responsibilities they do not want, for which they are poorly suited, and that disrupt their primary roles. One such responsibility is the obligation to serve as mandatory reporters of suspected child abuse and neglect. Joan Goodman reviews the history of this duty, its current parameters, the harmful over-reporting, and its unfortunate consequences for children, teachers, and families. As an alternative to referring suspected abuse cases to authorities, schools could use logarithms for initial screening, involve personnel with more extensive training in identifying potential abuse, or consult a team of in-school personnel to evaluate cases before making referrals.