Amidst demands for greater accountability, many methods of ensuring teacher quality have been suggested. One that is currently gaining popularity in some quarters is Value-Added Assessment. In this system, statistical methods are applied to determine which teachers are succeeding, and which are failing in adding "value" to a child's educational attainments. The system has been touted as fair and useful for comparing achievement at the building and district levels, across states, and for evaluating the relative success of teacher education units at colleges and universities. This paper calls the fairness and usefulness of this much acclaimed system into questions and suggests that it is impossible for such a system of assessment to account for the multivariate nature of today's schools and teachers.