The National Research Council report "Scientific Research in Education" claims to present an inclusive view of science as it responds to federal government attempts to legislate educational research. This author argues, however, that the report in fact narrowly defines "science" as positivism and "methodology" as quantitative. These definitions are made possible by the outright rejection of postmodernism and the rejection by omission of other theories including queer, feminist, race, postcolonial, critical, and poststructural theories. The chief issue in this report is, in fact, not "science" but the larger issue of epistemology, from which methodologies like conventional science emerge. After using postmodern analyses to illustrate the danger of the report's normalizing and totalizing discourse, this author urges researchers to be on guard against those who would reject diverse epistemologies and methodologies in educational research.