In this paper, I ask: How can thinking with posthuman theories of affect in gender and education enable us to trouble current book banning efforts that work to reassert the gender order, namely by aligning heterosexuality with the notion of a 'core national culture'? And how do post[left right arrow]feminisms, as more-than-human political practices of knowing/being/doing/feeling/sounding, help us to embrace otherwise imaginaries for 'literate-techno-bodies'? I begin from the premise that, as the im/material-discursive forces of white supremacist hyper-capitalist cisheteropatriarchy have historically shaped US aesthetic practices and notions of Americanness, gender and hetero-sexuality affectively extend into and entangle with texts, particularly fairytales. My hope is to redirect affective energies to otherwise worlds where gender, sexuality, and literacies are no longer bound to a stabilizing heteropatriarchal metanarrative that violently moves via subtle and not-so-subtle relational networks, including book censorship, state/federal care, parental protesting, and even "happily ever after."