Occasionally, the search committee for a tenure-track position will decide on a candidate who is A.B.D., all but dissertation, and decide to hire him or her with the understanding that the Ph.D. will be completed by a given deadline. In the the form of an anecdote, the author discusses the potential pitfalls--for both the university, the administration, and the candidate him- or herself--of hiring someone who is A.B.D. into a tenure-track position. In order to avoid the mess this practice can create, he suggests that A.B.D. hires be permitted only if the candidate is placed in a non-tenure-track position until the terminal degree is conferred, and then converted to a tenure-track slot.