Expanded conceptions of I-Other relationships in critical service learning impact ideas of self, ways in which self is understood to be autonomous and/or relational, and holistic concepts of self and other/s. This manuscript engages core ontological questions in contemporary service learning: Can social epistemological and ontological approaches assist in questioning oppositional framings of us and them that are both the cause and the consequence of exclusion and individualism, such as "us doing for them" or "us thinking of them?" Mixed methods were used to evaluate course outcomes of a recurrent service-learning course at the School of Architecture and Community Development at University of Detroit Mercy. Pre- and post- surveys, were administered to graduate and K-12 students. Personal reflection questionnaires and one-prompt personal reflection essays were analyzed through the identification of emerging themes. Two distinct conceptions of self and other emerged: a "dichotomic conceptualization" of self/other, and a "synechistic conceptualization" of self-in-other. Architecture students interrogated their roles as designers and community members and their own lived experience as they intersect issues of racial identity, education, and socio-economic status. We conclude that a synechistic service-learning approach counteracts narcissistic and competitive approaches in architecture and design education.