A child's experience with death is really made up of three components: the direct or indirect exposure to a death, the child's perceptions and reactions toward death, and the intervention of a mediating agent (relative, friend, teacher, counselor, the author of a book or poem, or the creator of a movie or television program). The helpfulness or harmfulness of the death experience to the child's emotional and intellectual development depends largely on the intervention of the mediating agent. A series of steps for helping children cope with death when their behavior is dominated by either intellectual or emotional needs includes the following: recognize the cues that indicate the child's needs; state or restate the situation; share feelings; give information that might help the child feel more secure; propose experiences that might contribute to the child's emotional or intellectual resources; and always close a conversation with the possibility that it may continue at some other time. With these steps, a mediating agent can build the intellectual, emotional, and social resources that help the child grow toward independence and strength rather than toward dependence and helplessness. (RL)