In this piece, drawing from performance autoethnography, third world feminism, and postcolonial/cultural studies, the author interrogates "how do I play scholar?" The author uses Judith Butler's question "how do I play gender?" and her notions of performativity to dance around, using the voices of the "Thug" and the…

This performance autoethnography shows the author's struggle in finding his place, scholarship, voice, and body, into the academic setting. Mixing together memories of his lived experience with sugar cane workers, notes, and leftovers of different fieldworks, plus 6 years of life as grad student at the University of Illinois, the author looks for…