In this article, the author outlines some of the defensive weapons with which schools fight to hold their institutional authority over knowledge in a changing educational landscape. If schools are gripped by a crisis of epistemic authority, what are their strategies of shoring up their jurisdiction? To explore this question, the author turns to the French sociology Pierre Bourdieu and his analysis of educational institutions. The article begins by reviewing Bourdieu's conceptual apparatus and its indebtedness to the sociology of Max Weber (1978), particularly the significance of religion and religious actors to his critical social analysis. From here, the author pivots to Bourdieu's analysis of schools by way of religious architectonics, with notes on the contemporary state of schooling. The author then demonstrates how Bourdieu's framework allows rival theologies of schooling at work to be seen in the contemporary moment, when new quasi-religious actors are battering the walls of institutionalized education. The article concludes by asking where Bourdieu's analysis stands in the 21st century in understanding ongoing educational crises.