Drawing on ethnographic fieldwork, in this article, I tell the story of a particular Syrian family and their encounter with a day-care institution in Denmark -- and by extension with the Danish state. In doing so, I highlight how the initially legitimate worries and genuine care of the institution turned into a form of 'coercive concern' (Jaffe-Walter 2016) as the family failed to fully meet the requirements of the Danish educational/ integration regime. I show the problematic transition that occurred in the approach to Aisha as the pedagogues moved from seeing her as a vulnerable refugee in need of care to seeing her as a 'problem of integration'. Highlighting glimpses of alternative pedagogical approaches, which were co-present though undermined, I argue for the value of relational care as entailing emphatic listening and presence (Noddings 2013). I thus point to the value of doubt and dialogue, rather than a stifled form of certainty through adhering to specific pedagogical mantras vis-à-vis integration policy.