Youth participatory action research (YPAR) provides a model for youth leadership in research aimed at tangible improvements to their lives. We employed YPAR with queer and trans young adults in a qualitative study about trans high school youth. In this paper, we highlight the importance of relationships, dialog and reflexivity to ensuring ongoing critical reflection on the ethical nature of what often appear as methodological and operational issues. Our research underscores the tensions, contradictions, and limitations of sharing power that emerge in collaborations across age, race, educational attainment, and lived experience.