In this paper I seek to address a series of tensions in the ways we think, write and speak about gender in classrooms and playgrounds, and in the language we use to describe children and their behaviour. I shall examine some of the concepts we use for describing gender relations among children and consider the extent to which they are still useful. My main focus is on hegemonic masculinity; the female as Other; and "doing" boy or girl, masculinity or femininity. I conclude that we need to take the language we use extremely seriously, and that in our work we need to primarily be focused on ensuring that all children are able to have "livable lives" in school and elsewhere. (Contains 1 note.)